are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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