Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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