Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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