Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
