So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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