And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dignity is for republicans.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
