I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
