Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
