it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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