College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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