So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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