i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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