I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
