i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't deserve a penis
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
