Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
