ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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