chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
