he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
