yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
