Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
