Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
