I think I am morally bankrupt
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm getting married
To pizza
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
