I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
