ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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