I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
