he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
