can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
