awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
