Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
