she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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