wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
