They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
