Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
