living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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