I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
