I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
