I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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