im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
