he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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