If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
