There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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