i just made my gag reflex go away.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think my moral compass just broke
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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