i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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