I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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