drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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