At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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