I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
