Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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