i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Barsexuality is the new black.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
