Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
